Sounding Circle: The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational

 The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational51 comments
22 Jul 2005 @ 01:47, by Raymond Powers

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing of one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's [link] winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

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51 comments

29 Aug 2005 @ 19:37 by Caroline Phillipuk @165.230.175.168 : MENSA invitational... Wish I Knew Sooner
Fecetious (adj.): Characterized by being full of shit.  


5 Oct 2005 @ 22:53 by Brian H. Barron @65.102.149.6 : discomboobulated (adj.)
to be confused and stupid, simultaneously.  


25 Oct 2005 @ 17:47 by blanca acosta @206.23.78.197 : begotry
begotry: a store where the most infamous characters in history have been created. It is still open and booming.  


17 Nov 2005 @ 18:13 by Nick Truske @69.49.167.219 : a sentence from new Mensa words
Ignoranusly hopping into my hipatitsly kool Karmageddon to crooze thruew the mucky bifurcated policated bozone, gaining speed along boulevardian Sarchasms, I flip my Dopeler effected flinger, glibidly flaunting my inbred reintarnation as demoncratically republicantainted superiosity exerts its expressionistic twit delighting the intaxicated discomboobulated.  


22 Dec 2005 @ 20:44 by robert j miller @206.174.59.84 : entry
how does one submit to the Post's Mensa Invitational; and by what date?  


27 Dec 2005 @ 22:14 by ROBERT J MILLER @206.174.59.84 : entries for 2006
coffence.....keeping people away from you by pretending to be sick
copying......police officer at a urinal
viagraculture.....farmers with E.D.
lesbian diet .....strictly vagitarian
top prayority....whatever you ask God for first
investigator.....stock broker for crocodiles
eks slacks....pants for people who don't give a shit how they look
rambodextrious.....hands like Sylvester Stallone
arrestaurant.........cafe for criminals
debravation....what Raymond Barone will experience when his wife leaves him
propagate......leaving your garden open
oh no monopia.....words that "sound" like trouble
orca-nazation ....union of killer whales
content......where Ghengis used to sleep
yeasterday .....best time to use gynolotrimin
assault.....seasoning for a rump roast
camera-flage.....undercover photography
edible complex..... a man in love with his mothr's cooking
lobstervation.....crustatean research
acue-sticks.....sounds inside a pool hall
bank quit.....celebration that a financial institution is going out of business
pagerism ....a journalist using someone else's beeper
raguru.....Eastern mystic who meditates on pasta
burniture......chairs you get from a fire sale
toxic....really sick of working in a clock shop
jobstacle.....anything that prevents you from doing your work
Irving Owen Sylva...(I.O. Sylva)....loan arranger
bloviating....loud politician working under his race car  



25 Jan 2006 @ 18:55 by Bart Brigidi @152.16.28.110 : feng shuin
for the biker riders out there...

feng-shuin: the artful shifting, placement, and ultimate arrangement of two butt cheeks to achieve harmony with the seat of a bicycle.  



7 Mar 2006 @ 15:47 by Alan Epstein @4.156.165.2 : Mensa contributions
Colleidascope - instrument used photograph the scene of an accident between vehicles travelling in opposite directions.

Calebration- festivities begun upon learning that all your lab instruments are finally reading correctly.  



12 Mar 2006 @ 22:12 by Jeff Hest @66.108.85.61 : Perils of city life
Meanderthals—A group of people meandering obliviously in your path who are impossible to get by without walking in the street  


18 Apr 2006 @ 16:20 by Daryl Bertrand @70.115.10.209 : Washington Post's Mensa Invitational...
Puntuate (N): Flavoring a speech with this low form of humor,...the pun.
 



25 Apr 2006 @ 19:49 by ebone likea mutha @216.69.96.3 : "mensa" invitational
Urban legend control: this was actually a year end winners list from the Washington Post *Style* Invitational. The WP Style Invitational is run weekly (you can find it at [link]) and the contest format varies from week to week. The words produced above came from a 2003 contest. Typical net meme: good content, bad metadata... Netadata??  


26 Apr 2006 @ 16:27 by JOSEPH HONAN @72.76.9.85 : NEW WORDS
BIAGRA: DOUBLES THE SIZE OF NORMAL ERECTION
INCARCERNATION:COUNTRY THAT PUTS YOU IN JAIL FOR MINOR INFRACTIONS EG.(CHEWING GUM IN PUBLIC)  



29 Apr 2006 @ 13:28 by JOSEPH HONAN @72.76.9.85 : NEW WORDS
CLONE MANGER: WHERE POOR PEOPLE'S COPIES SLEEP  


30 Jun 2006 @ 17:09 by Rees Jenkins @65.87.179.71 : New Words
Celebation: party at a monastery or convent  


25 Jul 2006 @ 14:29 by Bill Hodgson @40.0.40.10 : New Words 2006 Mensa Invitational
Sesquipedaliac – one who is fanatic about using long words...OR... an individual whose verbal communication paradigm obsessively accentuates polysyllabic words
Deja Pu – the sensation that you have smelled a malodorous gas before.
Acadermic – education by injection  



25 Jul 2006 @ 19:55 by Terri Haag @71.215.125.121 : Mensa invitational contest
ADDENDUMB: The attachment you have to send right after you prematurely press the 'send' button.  


26 Jul 2006 @ 02:20 by Hayden Overman @70.176.173.94 : Mensa Invitational Contest
Cantelope-A cousin of the antelope that can't do anything  


7 Sep 2006 @ 18:02 by jim baldoni @204.249.105.251 : new word
bubonica : noun; items of interest to Plague Survivors  


8 Sep 2006 @ 20:33 by Jude Yancey @70.36.14.165 : Enter my definition
My entry for next year: E-Coli: email from lying coworkers with diarrhea  


8 Sep 2006 @ 20:43 by Jude Yancey @70.36.14.165 : Corrected entry
E-Colie = Email from coworkers with diarrhea  


17 Oct 2006 @ 00:07 by bob @68.83.130.163 : cool
blogging about words. real cool.  


17 Dec 2006 @ 01:59 by Kawika @66.8.251.214 : New definitions
Incontenant - renter who needs to learn the location of the apartment bathroom quickly
Incontinent - living on the Mainland  



17 Dec 2006 @ 15:25 by Mark Boyer @24.91.70.154 : MENSA contest
El Nono - non-existent seasonal warming of the waters in the eastern Pacific ocean.

Tarpoon - a large fish-shaped wind storm  



29 Jan 2007 @ 11:27 by elliot @209.174.86.35 : more mens'sims
--Anti-pope: the pope's parents' sister
--Mentos: candy for men
--bubbi-onic plague: The invasion of jewish grandmothers at the miami beach denny's when they have a 50% special  



5 Mar 2007 @ 10:32 by Vincent van Haaff @69.104.65.171 : entry for consideration
mansa - the perception by some that there is a female minority in intelligence  


8 Mar 2007 @ 14:13 by Warren Kazakiewich @216.114.149.162 : wordism
Precessor: The computer component responsible for taking human input and converting it to something that actually makes sense.  


13 Mar 2007 @ 06:45 by Josiah Hawk @216.150.253.68 : more
gentrifried: sick of rich people and cleaning their houses.
Incarlate: spending too much time between bodies
suggestons: what writer's get from their families  



29 Mar 2007 @ 15:43 by Newman @68.179.14.113 : another one for you
anurhythm: any song that gets stuck in your head despite all of your efforts to get it out  


21 Apr 2007 @ 04:40 by steve @202.7.176.133 : wordism
tarpon: for those flood like flows  


3 May 2007 @ 17:47 by Henry @67.84.243.141 : Word shift
Deifination: act of hyperbolic jingoists (e.g. Gott mit uns)  


13 Jun 2007 @ 16:05 by Robin Shackell @69.250.218.155 : New Definition
Fiduciary - An agent that simultaniously fiddles and fu#ks you over.  


25 Jul 2007 @ 20:02 by Anthony Greiner @169.155.33.1 : New Definition
Askhole - An individual who disrupts and prolongs a meeting with a berating series of questions.  


30 Jul 2007 @ 15:01 by MF @24.163.130.248 : in response to "Karmageddon"
Chrust: A dried layer of scum on a object so thick and hearty, only the son of the Christian god can get it off.

Solvation: When Christ the sin magnet sucks sins out of body at death allowing soul to dissolve and consequently sublime (from liquid to vapor). At this point soul escapes into atmosphere and eventually to Christian heaven.  



7 Aug 2007 @ 05:30 by Adam Conti @69.250.15.55 : new definition
Genis: A brilliant penis  


28 Aug 2007 @ 10:24 by Catriona @58.165.123.222 : New Words
Mastabrasion: A genital injury resulting from overzealous self-gratification.

Mastoplast: First aid dressing applied to a Mastabrasion.

Slovereign: An unkempt Monarch

Forlornication: Unhappy, miserable, desperate sexual intercourse between two unmarried persons.

Cronograph: a clock driven instrument for recording the exact instant a woman can be classified as old and cranky.

Fartcical: of a small, barely audible emission of wind from the anus, ridiculous in nature.

Anaphallaxis:, an increased susceptibility to a reaction from a foreign penis, resulting from previous exposure.

Orcastraight: Heterosexual Killer Whale  



21 Sep 2007 @ 14:51 by JAMIE ROBINS @64.242.226.126 : SUBMIT
HEAT CASTRATION: SWEATING YOUR BALLS OFF  


28 Sep 2007 @ 06:34 by Neal Walters @121.246.163.233 : HebrewDictionaryOnline.com
One Lesson a Day, 13 Days, and You Can Read Hebrew For Life  


12 Nov 2007 @ 03:34 by Shil Sengupta @65.96.186.92 : Stop Being an Armadildo
Someone who is being stubborn and thick headed and therefore getting used. example: You are still stuck in that job/relationship because you are being an armadildo.  


8 Dec 2007 @ 12:07 by Aaron Swersky @68.93.42.126 : Additions
IP Address: Where nerds use the restroom.
Lazy Buoy: A swimmer who merely floats in the water.
Wiitard: Anybody who turns their Nintendo Wii controller into a projectile.
Stealth Missive: Any e-mail about which the recipient remains unaware.
Heat Strike: Outdoor temperatures so hot that you just want to punch someone.
Temp Orifice: Any job so bad that only a temp would do it.
Soda Poop: Any carbonated beverage so foul as to be undrinkable.
Spellchucker: A spellchecking program that tends to correct your words into unintended meanings.
Stupornatural: Any myth that is very obviously pure fiction.  



8 Dec 2007 @ 23:30 by Jim Tdiyman @24.110.253.163 : My Entries:
Sinoculation—telling a lie to keep you from getting in trouble
Bobfuscate—a confusing story from someone named Bob
Hypewriter—a typewriter from a spin doctor, lawyer, Enron CEO
Bulletin Bored—a bulletin board with nothing but boring news
Bile cabinet—a file cabinet full of stomach acid
Fightamins—vitamins that make you think you can kick everyone’s ass
Lazy Goy—a Lazy Boy chair for gentiles
Air Bunditioner—an air conditioner that only cools your ass.
Labrador Dali—a Labrador Retriever who paints surrealistic images
Cyclanalysis—type of counseling for overachieving bike riders
Band Cream—hand cream for band players
Boast Office -- place where letters congratulating yourself are routed
Pepsi Bowla -- Pepsi for bowlers
Piescraper -- a very tall building specifically designed to house pies or a tool for scraping peanut butter pie off the roof of your mouth
miner setback -- a coal miner loosing his pick ax
burpritto -- a burp after eating a burrito
Stabbin fever -- cabin fever that makes you so nuts you want to stab someone
blaze doughnut -- a glaze doughnut on fire
tuniversity -- school for fish or a music school
sellaphone -- a telephone for telemarketers
padding machine -- an adding machine for an accountant who is cooking the books
palamander -- a person who has an unnatural desire to be friends with amphibians
branch dressing -- salad dressing for twigs
and last but not least
headicine -- medicine for your head................I think I'll go take some now.  



30 Dec 2007 @ 00:12 by Jim Tidyman @24.110.253.163 : More Entries
toothbaste – toothpaste that makes your teeth taste like turkey
vasoline station – place where you get your rear end lubed
Inaneasylum – facility that houses only silly, ridiculous people
Tappaloosa -- a great looking horse that tap dances
Sequestrian -- a strictly confined horse rider
Hairenautical engineer – a really, really good hair stylist
Sircumcision -- a procedure only done to Knights
Sindecison – can’t really decide if you’re going to commit a sin
Fartwheel – whenever you do a cartwheel, you fart
Scareachute – parachute that opens up at the last minute
Tom Jovi -- Bon’s brother
Peedometer -- device that measures how fast you’re peeing
Screwpulous – a conscientious, meticulous, thorough fuck
Humper sticker – a bumper sticker applauding sex
Surewood Forest – a forest where you are absolutely, positively certain the tree are made of wood
Bowliosis -- a curvature of the spice from excessive bowling
Douche tag – hitting someone with a douche bag and yelling, “You’re it”
Clotch Locket -- Japanese pronunciation of a racing motorcycle
Tequila Bunrise – a drink made from tequila that makes you want to shake your ass
Plea Market -- a flea market where you have to beg for the lowest price
Schizospleenic – a person who thinks they have two different spleens
Lessbian – a lesbian who’s just not quite sure
Dressage Parlor -- a message parlor for really fancy horses
Olympic Sized Swimming Tool -- a really, really large tool you use in the water
Cantstandtinople – just can’t stand being around people named Tinople
Bearathon -- a really long race for bears
Chicken Snot Pie -- self explanatory  



21 Jan 2008 @ 19:26 by A. C. Axline @63.199.209.133 : More Mensa words
Revarication: The act of telling the same lie over again, in the hopes that this time, someone will believe it.

Vaticlan: The entire population of Vatican City

Scufflink: A "decorative" scuff mark worn on the cuff of jeans, shirts, etc.  



16 Feb 2008 @ 12:59 by Eric Hayman @87.113.117.156 : Mensa Invitational
Tennessee - a partner at tennis.  


22 Feb 2008 @ 22:43 by John Hetzler @205.244.126.130 : Insurination
Deciding to go to the bathroom just before a road trip to make sure there are no liquid emergencies at 70 mph.  


24 Feb 2008 @ 08:34 by PH1 @119.11.99.215 : Geekabyte
Geekabyte - a unit of computer memory so enormous it can only be comprehended by computer nerds.  


25 Feb 2008 @ 16:40 by Steve @72.237.182.251 : Foxymoron
A member of the opposite sex that you tolerate, despite their stupidity, because they are rediculously good-looking.  


29 Feb 2008 @ 15:41 by PH1 @119.11.102.69 : Buzztard
A retarded raptor with no known father.  


1 Mar 2008 @ 09:01 by Mike @71.112.195.15 : Mocumentary (n.)
Historical compilation of one's redundant attempts to fail.  


2 Mar 2008 @ 09:46 by PH1 @119.11.107.186 : Some more...
Vantasy – an erotic thought involving sex in a caravan.
Medivation – a therapeutic holiday.
Aeropain – lower back discomfort experienced when not seated in business class.
Carpet – a cat or dog that lives in the trunk of your Buick.
Musicalory – using chamber orchestra as part of your dieting program.
Balcarny – a gypsy who hangs out on the veranda.
Boffin-coffin – a wooden box in which you lay to rest the body of a dead research scientist.
Interracial – Nascar racing that involves drivers from an assortment of nationalities.
Olympus – where they hold the Wold Championship for infected wounds.
Menial – a tedious job carried out by a nasty person.
Thyme-machine – a laundry appliance for washing futuristic herbs.
Deturdgent – suds specially formulated to remove skid marks.
Influence – transferring an airborne virus to win an argument.
Refrigerration – the process of keeping extremely small meal portions cool to prevent spoilage.
Lionessay – a scholarly paper written by a predatory feline.
Crocodile – How you contact a particular reptile via a cell phone.
Barbieque – Where you line up to pay the Toys-R-Us cashier for your new doll.
Night-Howl – a 24hr convenience store exclusively for wolves.
Chronic Fartigue Syndrome – Medical condition where excessive flatulence causes exhaustion.
Cauliflower – What you buy Lassie on Valentine’s Day.
Draught-Dodger – Someone who sneakily evades the cool breeze blowing through the room.
Tuscan – putting an elephant tusk on the copier to create a .PDF.
Nobel – the reason you can’t announce the commencement of church in an admirable fashion.
Labtop – a portable computer only used by cousins of the golden retriever.
Intepid Traveller – a tourist who is absolutely fearless of luke-warm water.
Paracetamould – the little ice-cube tray looking moulds they use to make headache tables.
Dreadful – when your head is full of dread-locks that don’t look good.
Muppart – paintings done by puppets.
EBray – where donkeys buy sh*t online.
Imbeseal – a seal that carries on like an idiot.
Turkey – what you’ll find on a Turk’s key-ring.
Jerkey – what a Jerk uses to unlock the door to his dried meat cabinet.
Centrifungal Force – a phenomenon in physics whereby mushrooms are pushed to outer edge of a high speed rotating object.
Timelessness – How the Loch Ness Monster is as relevant today as it was in yesteryear.
Cereal Pest – A pest who repeatedly eats whole-grain products for breakfast.
Acquiescence – flavouring you allow someone else to add to a dish you’re cooking because you don’t want to protest.
Televersion – the unique spin each network puts on the same current affairs story.
Potatoads – ugly frog-like root vegetables that make you high if you lick their skins.
Tomatoads – a red frog-like fruit that when licked gives an LSD experience similar to that given from licking Potatoads.
Genuosity – when a person is considered by their peers as being a master in the art of being genuine.
Fartistry - when you can belt out a recognisable version of the Star Spangled Banner through your Sphincter, THAT is fartistry!
Infidolls – non-believing Barbie’s and Ken’s.
Mutricious – nutritious food that has been genetically modified/mutated.
Garlic – when you lick a garfish.
Assimilatte – an attempt to get people from different coffee drinking cultures to live happily ever after in caffeinated harmony.
Infartuation - an inexplicable attraction to someone who can effortlessly and frequently clear a room.
Ardvark – a vark that is not in the least bit soft.
Stereo-type – keying words or data in time to a Rolling Stones LP record.
Terrorbill – how you would describe a bad joke about a suicide-bomber pelican’s beak.
Highlight – when the best part is the full moon at midnight.
Mozart – musically inspired paintings of the moats surrounding medieval castles.
Turnacious – a singular focus and complete commitment to taking the next street on the left.
Disapeasement – when you’re let down by negotiations that were intended to defuse the situation.  



19 Apr 2008 @ 11:59 by Rod Keith @76.235.13.127 : barmituate
a group of Jewish males who attain the age of thirteen.  


2 Jun 2008 @ 00:26 by Stuart Bridgman @210.185.16.150 : Alternative meanings of words
I submit the following - all are original (altho other clever people may have had the same weird thoughts!).


Molestation An access point in a mole tunnel
Doloroso A small amount of money
Philistine A German bartender
Bifocal Window shopping
Metronome An elf who lives in town
Myxomatosis A condition resulting when toe replacement surgery goes horribly wrong
A nincompoop A mistake on your tax return
Algorithm Musical accompaniment by Al Gore
Pasteurised Subjected to visual inspection
Savoir faire Cheap travel tickets  



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